Reframing Expectations
It’s worth pausing to compare your expectations with reality—not to judge, but to notice.
I took a personal “retreat” last week by volunteering to house sit for my parents, who live in a remote town in Southwestern Colorado. I had grand visions of creating a contemplative time of solitude: sunrise meditations, long hikes, journaling and cooking, stargazing, and deep sleep. Dreamy, right?
Well, my time didn’t pan out exactly as planned. But I was surprised and delighted by what did happen.
Solitude happened, but I also said yes to kind neighbors inviting me to happy hours and bluegrass shows. Meditations happened, but were interrupted by howling dogs and screeching cats. Hikes happened, but instead of climbing mountains, I ambled along gravel roads, catching my breath in the thin air. Cooking happened, but instead of extravagant recipes I ate the same two meals every day—nutritious, but boring. And stargazing and sleep happened, though mostly after binge-watching a TV show and staying up late talking to my husband, NINE time zones away.
Unexpectedly, I also spent three full days cleaning, reorganizing, and tackling projects around the property that begged for attention. I worked hard, but it felt like hardly working.
The moral of the story? Everything I wanted out of that retreat did happen; it just unfolded differently. I recharged my social battery. I meditated daily. I got outside every day. I ate well. I slept deeply (just later than planned). And I enjoyed a beautiful time of contemplation in the midst of all the rest.
So here’s the takeaway: it’s worth pausing to compare your expectations with reality—not to judge yourself, but to notice.
This is a practice of gentle assessment — holding your plans loosely enough that reality has room to surprise you, while still checking back in to see what aligned, what shifted, and what matters. By reflecting on what you intended versus what actually unfolded, you can see how your needs were met in unexpected ways, and also where you might adjust going forward. It’s not just about productivity or progress; it’s about acknowledging that the form may look different, but the function is often still served.
Try this exercise at the end of this week:
Write down what you intended (goals, hopes, routines).
Write down what actually happened.
Look for overlaps, even if they don’t match perfectly.
Ask: What needs did this still meet?
Decide whether to adjust expectations next time, or simply appreciate the unexpected ways your intentions came to life.